People make mistakes, they lie and make things over-complicated. These things can lead to a breakup. Breakups can be incredibly emotional, although it can also mean a new beginning for you. If you are having problems with your relationship but you think the relationship can be pieced back together, don’t call a divorce solicitor yet! There are some steps that you can take:
Figure out what the problem is
This is where you need to take some time alone to think about what went wrong or is going wrong in the relationship. Pinpoint the first event that started the breakdown of your relationship, this is really important because you need to think about what you are going to say to your partner. Sometimes it may be a major problem, but can also be a series of little problems.
Think about whether the relationship is worth saving
Sometimes a relationship cannot be saved or is not worth saving, if the other person is not willing to put the effort, why should you? You need to ask yourself if your partner is the type of person who will put an effort in to save a relationship, or whether you would be left alone to do it yourself.
Speak to your significant other
If you think that you both want to salvage what you have made, the next step would be to speak to your partner about it as soon as possible. However, while dealing with issues quickly can be a factor in saving a relationship, bringing these points up when your partner is busy can cause more frustration as they will not be concentrating on the conversation. The key to this situation is to keep calm and be honest with each other about the problems and what has happened to lead you to this point.
Figure out how you are going to deal with the problem
Many couples decide that counselling is best for them as it can be helpful to have a third party to moderate discussions with their partner and to suggest ways in which you can both get what you want out of the relationship. A professional can help you decipher the problems as you vent your frustrations to them. However, some couples think that it is best for them to deal with it alone, this will usually involve them talking through their problems and then coming up with a plan to try to avoid these problems in the future. This will rely on you both having a mature enough outlook to keep discussions about your problems from becoming emotionally charged and turning in to a shouting match.
Communication and honesty
This is arguably the most important point. You need to speak with you partner and be completely honest with them. When you think that something may be taking a wrong turn again tell your partner so you are able to deal with this early on, before you leave it too late. Also telling your partner how you feel instead of blaming them for a problem is much more effective because then your significant other will be able to place themselves in your shoes. This will also help if your partner often becomes defensive when criticised.
Figure out a solution
From communicating with your partner, you should then be able to figure out a solution or plan that can help you both move forward. You need to work out ways that you can both compromise to make sure that you are meeting your wants and needs in the relationship. For example, if your partner is feeling neglected you should agree to go out on a date once a week where there are no other distractions.
Learn how to forgive each other
You are going to need to learn to forgive each other if you are trying to move forward. This does not mean that you need to forget what happened you just need to understand the feelings that your partner felt. You need to accept that the situation has happened and move on together.
Sometimes it’s better to end it as friends
Even if you try to fix the relationship it may not work out, do not worry as you still have many different options. Think of it as a new beginning, a chance to restart and pursue yourself and your own goals. Trying to stay on good terms with your partner is really important this is a person that you cared about and means a lot to you. Also, if you keep on good terms and then realise that you have had enough time to think about everything and would like to start talking with them again this will be much easier while you are on good terms.